It is Love Not Reason… BY Gabrielle Angel

That is Stronger Than Death. It’s a quote by Thomas Mann. It says a lot that quote, it became one of my favorites about 8 years ago. “It is Love Not Reason That is Stronger Than Death”.

I really wasn’t going out of my way to be morbid, honestly I wasn’t. That isn’t what this quote means to me anyway. Actually my twin sister, Autumn the “Queen of Quotes” (she really is) came across this one. Where and why, because she had this quote fall right into her lap so to speak, and because she wanted me to have a quote that made sense. You know my own quote that worked for me somehow.

That was a rough time for me 8 years ago, losing my husband Dave to that  evil and dreaded enemy cancer. I wrote a blog a month ago or so about Dave, it’s good to get those emotions out. The devastation of his death, I wasn’t coping at all well with it, I really wasn’t. It was all a blurry scene for me, first Dave taken by multiple myeloma, then Dad 40 days later of the same cancer. Just kind of beginning to grieve for my husband and then Dad was gone, I thank God I stayed sane. Although there were many times I wondered, was I really? I feel I mostly  drifted through, being kind of lost and doing things by automatic reflex, you know what I’m saying?

Talking helped so much, I was blessed with so many people all around me. The family and of course Autumn and also Craig were truly wonderful, friends and other relatives. I talked a lot, I cried a lot. Being such a walking wreck, nothing seemed real. My thought is how can you be anything else when your heart is broken? It was during this hazy time, the sense of unreality still rolling when Dad and Mom went to a doctor’s appointment.The next thing we knew Dad was admitted to the hospital. He, like Dave was experiencing hepatatic failure. (That’s liver failure in case not everyone knows that medical term).Double whammy nightmare…I knew the ending well.

Lots of praying and ever so grateful for my strong faith, I got through it. So did Mom, Autumn, our sisters and the tons relatives and friends. This is just really not meant to be a sad and gloomy blog, really it isn’t.

I think the story and the reality I am writing is the strength we all possess deep inside. The love we have and the belief that Dad and Dave are in Heaven. We will be catching up with them there on the other side, they are happy and well now, no more pain. They both want us to be happy, too. As best we can anyway, know what I mean? Sadly Craig has joined them, but they are watching and cheering us on.

Try and make something good out of this time we all have left on this earth is the message. I just know it is possible to still laugh, still partcipate in life. It doesn’t mean any of us will be picking out another mate necessarily. Speaking for myself, I know I won’t be and that is the divine order of things I do believe. Mom…Well, very, very highly unlikely. Autumn, perhaps? Only time will tell on this one.The three of us are different, after all. It certainly doesn’t mean she loved Craig any less.

The quote Autumn had given me applied to Dave and my never ending love for him. It still goes on and maybe in a sense Mom and Autumn share the quote now, too. Loving our men and knowing they will be waiting, right there in Heaven. They are alive in our thoughts, minds and our hearts and we have them popping into our dreams every so often for those visits. A lot of wonderful memories, too. It’s a good quote, I like it and it works for me.

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