I got out my ornaments today, in hopes of getting my Christmas tree decorated. Doing kind of OK until I opened one box. There they were, the lovely silver angel ornaments my husband Dave had gotten for me. It was in 2001, he died May 30th of 2003.
There are a half dozen beauful angels, very unusal and I loved them upon first sight. He got to enjoy them with me for two Christmases…That’s a happy memory. Big mistake on trying for the tree being decorated today, it’s exactly 8 & 1/2 years to the day I lost him to that evil beast cancer.
I try not to pay attention to the 30th of every month, but I usually fail. That may sound rather strange to some people. It’s just the way I am, I make no apologizes for my feelings about Dave to anyone. Anyway, these angel ornaments…Just looking at them reduced me to tears again. The tears dripped onto the angels making me feel even worse. Such a beautiful and loving gift, I feel guilty because Dave doesn’t want me to be sad. I miss him… he was my husband, soulmate and to be taken so young.
It is more difficult at the holidays…It always is, sadly I never quite get used to that. I ended up putting all my ornaments away, maybe tomorrow I will be able to decorate the tree. Maybe tomorrow…I will feel stronger. Maybe tomorrow I won’t cry. Maybe the angel ornaments will work their magic and I can smile. Some days are just more difficult than others. Anyone reading Autumn’s and my blog, you must realize I am an optimistic person.I strive to somehow reach for the upside, the positive. To find a degree of happiness and joy every single day I am alive.Unless you have felt my loss, which I wish on nobody…I suppose it’s hard to understand.
I will round up my twinnie to help me decorate the tree. Autumn will help me make it more joyful, perhaps we will find things to laugh about. We can hang those angel ornaments up together. She is my twin sister, I am blessed…I never take that for granted, never. She knows how I am feeling and helps me as she has been doing since Dave was diagnosed in 1998. Thank you twinnie, for always being there for me…I love you, TF <3=Twins Forever.