Sometimes Tact Comes Into Play…


Another weighty subject…This thing with having tact. You know when you have to be gracefully sensitive and really do not ever want to hurt feelings. Then, inside you are asking yourself…Why did they ask me such a thing? That’s the thought I’ve pondering for the day, I have an explanation why this thought occured. Don’t I always? If you’ve been at all following the Twinnies blog you will know I can tend to pluck a happening out of my life and write a post on it. It also includes Autumn’s life, my family’s life, sometimes friends and in this case neighbors….Well, you get the idea.

I had the strangest little chat with one of my neighbors earlier, it really is still bothering me. I know she is an older person, my Mom’s age actually. But  Mom wouldn’t be asking me such kind of off the wall things on certain matters. OK, this neighbor and what got said…Here’s a sample if you all are ready, that is! 😉

It starts off with being outside at the same time as Mrs Y. as we will call her. She lives across the street, upon seeing me coming home she came over to chat for a few minutes. Which is fine, I’m not snobby but I tend to limit my time with certain neighbors. To save my sanity, my privacy and all that kind of thing…No escaping it today! As Mrs. Y approaches she is kind of smiling and I pray it will be an OK kind of talk.

She starts off by saying how I seem to be in and out a lot lately, what all have I been up to? I answered vaguely because I really haven’t been coming or going any more than the normal. Mrs Y asks if perchance I maybe was seeing a nice young man…Then goes on to say how it would be a good idea. After all, she was alone now (she got divorced!) and open to male company for herself. She sure did elaborate on that subject! I just said about how everyone was different, I had very much loved my late husband Dave,etc…You know kind of kept it light. She did have the nerve to say…That’s no reason, you are still quite young! I was feeling kind of disgusted and I wanted to say more because of the Dave and me bond she knew nothing of and I showed good contol and once again tact. She had only moved in a couple years earlier, she hadn’t know my husband Dave.

Then, on she went to how awful it was for people to be living together before they got married…I think she was alluding to one of my family members. I just again said everyone does what’s best for them. Then she was warming up to how lucky I was not to have children…Oh, that’s a blessing now? It hadn’t been to Dave and me! Of course Mrs Y was going on about how her kids weren’t visiting enough to suit her. Either were those ungrateful grandkids it seems…Because they were all just so selfish anyway. I know, can you kind readers believe this stuff?  It was just all starting to make me a bit sad and also at the same time feeling kind of stressed. She is one of those people who unfortunately looks at the glass as half empty, know what I’m saying?

I quickly decided I had been tactful enough and excused myself to get back to the house…I escaped very gracefully I must say. Closing my door, with a sigh of relief…Off in search for tylenol for the devoping headache! Do any of you kind readers have neighbors such as this? If so, what do you do? Do you practice tact like I do? I would love to hear your opinions and thoughts! Autumn’s kind opinion…Run like crazy when you see her coming! 😉 Anyone agreeing with the Twinnie by chance? 😉 🙂

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16 thoughts on “Sometimes Tact Comes Into Play…

    • I know Twinnie, God wants us to love our neighbors and I do try my very best! 🙂 Running fast you are still saying. lol 😉 You have met up with Mrs Y plenty, so you know what I’m saying! TF ❤

  1. I’m sorry you had to deal with someone like that. I agree with your sister you should run, the next time it ever happen to you. I don’t like peeps thats all in my business. I’m the same as you, she had no reason to say the things she said to you. You a good one, because I would’ve snap! I’m still working on holding my tongue! lol God Bless 🙂

    • I know PJ, what a challenge people in our business is! Maybe next time I will run, it’s kind of so not right how this neighbor says such things. Thanks for the vote of confidence about how I handled it! Lol 🙂 You would have snapped, oh PJ I was about to but kept my patience. It’s so hard to understand people sometimes and then to have them for a neighbor on top of it all! I will keep praying I don’t run into her! 🙂 God Bless! 🙂

  2. I got an Idea. Set her up with the most revolting man you know. Will stop her need to discuss anything about relationships and will most probably avoid you from then on. 😀

    • What a good idea Tito! I am now wondering if I know a revolting older man to set her up with! You sure did have me laughing on this one, I will have to give it some thought for sure! 🙂 What a dream come true, to have Mrs Y avoid me! Lol 🙂

  3. I think that you handled the situation very well. I find that with all that you describe from the conversation, Mrs. Y exhibits a lot of insecurity issues that I think ended up being projected onto you. I feel that she was somehow asking you questions that I think she should really be asking herself. You, being stressed still handled it with tact and diplomacy despite the unnerving queries. Don’t mind her though…She is indeed a troubled personality.
    She isn’t just looking at the glass half empty…she isn’t even looking at her own glass at all which seems to be quite empty, from my point of view anyway. It may sound harsh…but that’s truth my friend. I can’t water that down.

    People who feel empty inside…try to fill the void by wanting to know what’s going on outside of their empty glass and comparing their issues with someone elses and purposefully try to find commonality in things that have nothing in common. I’ve encountered a few troubled souls like that and let me tell you…sometimes I feel like i’m about to have a “Moses moment” and just blast but….phew….thank God for Self-control. Still a work in progress my twinnie friend.

    Do what the Penguins from Madagascar “Smile and Wave” 😀

    • I am glad to hear you think I handled the situation well, it’s always pretty stressful chatting with her. Sherline, everything you said is so true about Mrs Y. It makes sense and I wasn’t quite thinking of it along the perspective of her insecurity issues and being a troubled personality, etc. I know she is not a real happy person, but you have summed it up so well! It isn’t harsh, you shouldn’t water it down because what you’ve said here makes me feel better in coping with her. Oh my goodness, I think these troubled souls are somewhat sad and the best thing is to pray for them and also keep our distance. Lol, I will do the smile and wave like the Penguins! 🙂 Thanks so much for your wise input Sherline, it made me feel lots better. You are just awesome twinnie friend, Hugs! 🙂

    • Thanks for stopping in, don’t worry if you are too busy to read posts. I sure know what that’s like these days. I haven’t been over to your blog for awile either, life gets so busy sometimes and I do understand. I have been doing well, hope you are also well Marvin. Thanks for checking in, it was very thoughtful of you! 🙂

  4. Oh man Gabby you handled it with so much patience..the problem with these nosy people is they have no idea what a limit means..what is it to her how who decides to live??
    I have met so many such people who have talked endlessly about how i should have another kid and how i should handle Bonita blah blah when they themselves are tearing their hair over two kids and not being able to cope up with the stress..
    people amaze me a lot with their stupid talks
    other day one lady told me she came to know my daughter is Mental..i first asked myself what the hell is mental and then i told her really and yours is not how sad that your daughter doesnt have brain..and before she could say anything i excused my self…not exactly tactfull but i just had to say that

    • Thanks Soma, I really do try so hard to be patient with people. It can be difficult though and you are so right about people not knowing limits and boundaries and all. I know, why do they think it’s somehow up the them to decide how things are?! It really is shameful people hand out all kind of wacky advice about how you should raise Bonita is just ridiculous. Also so nosy about having other kids is just plain rude, too. That does make me stomping mad, that is just plain evil what that lady said and so wrong. What can you do, she is attacking Bonita and your lovely and precious daughter isn’t up for discussion! In this case I would have lost my temper and probably wouldn’t attempt patience. Oh, now I am so disgusted about this lady, you handled it like I would have…There is a limit when it comes to tact. This lady sounded like she needed to hear what you said, she is a twit! I stand beside you Soma, you did good! 🙂 Hugs! 🙂

  5. Haha, I agree with Autumn, run! Sorry you had to deal with that. I don’t have neighbors like that (I tend to talk to my neighbors very little) but a few people at the office stick their noses where they don’t belong and are a little over-opinated on things they know nothing about. 🙂

    • You are so lucky you don’t have your neighbors in your business! That’s awful you have people in your office that try to get in your business though, which can be bad enough to put up with. Thanks for being so supportive of me dealing with the challenging Mrs Y. and I am thinking the running thing just may be the answer! 🙂

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