Only in my Dreams.. ~written by Gabrielle Angel


It was another “Dave dream” last night. Kind of so nice, comforting and real…Until I woke up. Looked over at the other pillow, Dave isn’t there, he hasn’t been there for over 8 years now.

If any of you are following the blogs, sorry to repeat myself. I lost my husband Dave to cancer and it’s been so unsettling and quite difficult. In my dreams he is with me, off on one of our adventures and it’s all so good. Life sure is strange sometimes, expect the unexpected I’ve learned.

One thing that upset me the other day, was a woman being nasty to her husband at the grocery store. She was about my age, she was busy telling him off left and right. Kind of appalling and disgusting, not to mention pretty darn personal. It was so hard restraining myself from saying something quite outspoken to her. How I would loved to say, “He’s alive, count your blessings and be kind to the poor man. If you dislike him, well get a divorce or whatever!”

It really was irritating to me and I thought back to the times of Dave and I in stores. We always had so much fun, kind of always laughing and finding some way to entertain each other. We weren’t rude to other people or disrespectful in any way, we just had a good time. That poor man getting told off by his wife, I just could imagine what Dave would have to say about that happening.

We both just thought it was a waste of time and space to be around anything or anyone who made you miserable. It really is something I do avoid at all costs still, it’s not worth it. So, in my dreams I have my husband back…Sometimes I would just like to stay there. He is singing to me, laughing with me and he is so incredibly beside me. I miss him very much, still and I know I always will. Of course I can’t stay in my dreams were Dave visits me, I need to reside in real life.

I was chatting with Autumn about this, since Craig (her late fiance and soulmate) visits her dreams quite often, too. She agreed with me and we talked about them both at length. They were both such caring, loving and wonderful men…Why did we each have to go through the torture of losing them? The divine order of things and all that? Probably, but it’s best if we both don’t dwell on it long, but it’s good to talk about Dave and Craig.

Those remarkable men that were ours, we were blessed to have them in our lives of course we were. Sometimes when we’re together and people who don’t know us hear we both lost our soulmates…We kind of get these odd looks. Once Autumn was so annoyed by someone who said,” isn’t that unusual? You are twins and both had the same loss.” Her snappy retort was, “We didn’t kill them off ourselves, honest”. Sorry, maybe you had to be there to appreciate it. Craig and Dave would have gotten a chuckle at it ( and they probably did), their humor was much like ours. It did make us both laugh pretty hard, the guy who said such a thing was quite regretful. Autumn went on to elaborate how that’s what he seemed to be implying, so she had to say it!

Autumn, that twinnie sure is a real hoot to be hanging out with. That girl will always speak her mind whenever and whever, I do too. But she is so much better at it! So, in my dreams and Autumn’s…We meet up with Dave and Craig and we are each accepted an loved just for our own twinnie selves.

No need to wish either of “Sweet Dreams”, don’t worry we will be having plenty of them. 🙂

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Gabrielle’s story – Twins Forever~written by Gabs :)


Well, you have the details of our birth and yes I am one minute older.

Does it make me different, more sensitive or do I make sensible or wiser decisions? Read on to find out.  When were babies, we had our own language and I think it just kept rolling from there. At times even now, other people have looked at us with puzzled expressions. It’s called a twin dialect – our own sort of accent.

I can remember back to eighteen months old, seriously. I have this quirky thing I have a very good memory. Autumn has called me “her memory”, claiming I remember more than her. In my opinion , she merely has a filter, which can be a blessing. It can be a burden to remember so much at times.

My first early memory, we were five years old and entering first grade. They didn’t have kindergarten in our small town, so we started school rather young. Well it was decided that we would be in separate classes and big mistake on their part  Autumn came and fetched me from my classroom (no fear, that girl), bravely hand in hand we marched to the principal’s office. To anyone who tried to stop us, Autumn simply stated, “we are going to see the principal, and you aren’t stopping us”; surprise, they didn’t either! Of course we got our way, Miss Autumn made sure of that and we were placed in the same classroom. We were the talk of the school for that one, even years later, the school nurse, teachers and the principal would reminiscence on our stunt.

You see the leader of “the twins”, she was from early on. Autumn is braver, gutsier than I am, certainly not evil or the bad one. I have been cautious, she’s been the risk taker. I have been the peacemaker, where she will argue the point (law background emerges) to the bitter end, for real! We have always been there for each other and that has been the forever best friend that has been such a blessing. So many stories so little time … 


We dated guys who were totally different types, and married the same way. I will just say, hers ended in divorce and mine sadly in death, but Autumn helped me through that to make me want to live. The love of her life, her fiance Craig, died suddenly from a brain aneurysm. When she lost him, the roles were suddenly reversed. It was rather scary having to bully her a bit to make her go on with this business of living. So to sum it up, Autumn got on with it. She has a heart as big as Heaven, she’s a constant support and joy!  Now does this sound like she’s the trouble maker or the “bad” one?  OF COURSE NOT!!

She is brave, determined and I love her very much.  She will be forever be the wind beneath my wings – TWINS FOREVER!!!


 

Wind Beneath My Wings

by Bette Midler

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that’s your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
You’re everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
You’re everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank God for you,
the wind beneath my wings.