A Friend in Trouble


I know this is so unlike any of my other posts, but I need to write this. Hoping to perhaps get feedback from you kind readers and get these thoughts of mine out there. Autumn and I have a dear friend we grew up with, she has been our friend since we were such very young kids. I, of course will be using her first initial which is L. Well, L was always one spunky, funny and just a smart and also such a brave woman.

She married young and has a daughter by her failed first marriage, raising her as a single Mom much like Autumn did. All was going well, she dated and all but was wise in her choices of men. About 12 years ago she started dating this guy and ended up marrying him. I must honestly say neither Autumn or I cared for him, neither did her family or other friends. My husband Dave was so  concerned because he had heard more about the guy, how controlling he was and some other unattractive qualities. Of course none of us could talk her out of the marriage, because in her eyes this man was wonderful and she just fell under his spell.

After the first couple years he was discouraging phone calls and visits from friends and family…I know, it’s the typical thing these types do. But, L is intelligent and she is letting him start to just take over because he needed to be star and center in her life and how is this happening? It’s been a frustration as well as a sad thing, we all miss her company and times together also her old happy self.

Autumn and I have had sporadic phone calls, visits (always at one of our houses) when L can sneak away from Mr. Control. Tonight’s phone call was the worst, L was crying and saying she had to get away from him because she has finally had it and was scared. Of course I offered help, as did Autumn but L is so upset he will hurt her or anyone who tries to help. This is starting to remind me of the movie “Sleeping With the Enemy” about L going on about how she would have to disappear, change her identity because he would never let her go! In this day and age, why has it come to this and why all this fear and threats? I am so angry, so is Autumn…We Twinnies will not let L keep on this way. What makes me angry, too is the police scoff at getting involved and think L can just up and leave him, no problem. That was disheartening, L can’t get an abuse order from the courts either because Mr. Control has never been physically abusive. Yeah, well what about the emotional abuse?!

I am just so beyond upset and heartbroken for L, as is Autumn. She wishes L would do as she herself did in an awful and verbally abusive marriage…Just leave and have no fear. Friends and family will always be there to be supportive and Mr. Control doesn’t get his way! Here’s the question, how do we convince L to leave and just get out and she doesn’t need to go to extremes…How to convince her to just get away before God forbid he does start getting physically abusive, what are the right words for this friend in trouble?

I told L that I was writing this post, and she was anxious what you kind readers would say. Maybe one of you has the magic and right words for her, if so please do share with us Twinnies. It would be so appreciated, perhaps we are too close to the situation and one of you will have the right answer. In the year 2012, why is this type of thing going on? Any thoughts, opinions or ideas…We would love to hear what you kind readers think. Thank you all who took the time to read this, our friend in trouble needs help!