Throw That Word “Coincidence” Out of the Dictionary!

This could also have the title of “Gabby Does a Rant”! Why isn’t that the title? Well, to start I don’t really do rants. It’s just not my style, I know people have them all over the blogsphere. *Please DO NOT take offense, I just want it on record I don’t do rants. Instead I would rather refer to what I do as debates. I was having one of these debates earlier with someone who is an aquaintance, not really a friend so to speak. Well, not that it makes a difference…But I got extremely irritated. Not that I think everyone should agree with me either! In my humble opinion the word “coincidence” should be tossed out of the dictionary. Because in my humble opinion again, there’s no such thing! Everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that with all my heart. There are no chance happenings, an accidental event and all the rest. I am so leaving myself open to debating by actually writing this. But it’s been bugging me all day long, so write it I must!

Hopefully you kind readers will be nice about this post in giving your opinion on this subject. I don’t argue, I seriously only do debate and that is the truth. I just find the word coincidence so downright stupid and every time I hear it used I could scream. If I was given to screaming, which of course I’m not. But it is frustrating, does anyone think that there is no divine order of things? There has to be…Because everthing does happen or occur for a reason. It’s a common sense thing for me to say this…Just think about it! I have so long, so many years thought this and I really wouldn’t be writing this if I wasn’t passionate about the whole deal. I highly doubt the word coincidence will ever get thrown out of the dictionary…Which is too bad for me. It would save any further debates on my part. It was much easier when my husband Dave was alive, because he, too did not believe in coincidences.

It started very early Dave and I had the coincidence disscussion…How wonderful we agreed on the whole matter!  Like we ended up together because it was a concidence we got put in each other’s path? Did we end up married because of a “chance meeting”? Not hardly, it was meant to be and that I am very, very positive and so was Dave. Everything has to occur for a reason, call it because of life lessons. Because we are getting them as we wander through this life we’re living.

I am sure there are many of you kind readers that will no doubt disagree with me. That’s OK, everyone certainly can’t all agree all the time! Thankfully Autumn does agree with me, and not because I say so or because we are twins and it’s TF ❤ honest! I got her permission to state her opinion. Is anyone reading and by chance agreeing with me? I would love to hear from you kind readers, what is your honest opinion of the word coindence? Please do share…But please do be kind! 🙂 🙂

Messages of Love, Heaven Sent…

I was browsing through this one book of Dave’s, I hadn’t looked at this particular book since he’s been gone. I know, many of you kind readers know I lost my husband Dave to evil cancer. So, I won’t go into details here and this is a happy thing I found…So why make anyone sad?

Anyway, there I was looking through a book of Dave’s and checking out a certain chapter…What is this piece of paper? It was a little note with a poem he had written for me, while reading this book! That is really and truly like a wonderful gift  being handed to me.  I had read and listened to everything he had left for me almost 9 years ago. I still do as a matter of fact, from time to time. He has been in Heaven almost 9 years now.. It will be exactly 9 years on May 30th.

We recorded lots of things and he also left me special notes and some thoughts and feelings, too. But this one was a new discovery for me…Why I hadn’t opened this particular book sooner? Well, because I wasn’t supposed to! It was meant for today…I had been thinking of him, missing Dave today more than the usual. So this message from him…A love message kind of heaven-sent! Wow, Yay and what a blessing…it didn’t make me cry, I smiled and even laughed.

Dave had a wonderful sense of humor and also was always writing cute little notes here and there. Usually I found them quickly, they were usually in plain sight. I did the same thing for him, we were just kind of still romantic and things even after being together all those years. We just didn’t take each for granted, because after all…Love doesn’t do that. Kind of nice, I wish that kind of love for everybody. If you have it, treasure it each and every day remind yourselves how blessed you are. I was blessed in so many ways…it’s why I highly doubt I will ever love again. Nobody will ever come close to Dave and our whole love we shared together.

Strange thing, this divine order of things and I try hard not to question it. I will be meeting up with Dave again on the other side when it’s time and that’s that. What do I do? Many things, try to make the most and best out of my own life…It isn’t the same as it would be if Dave was still physically present of course. My soul mate and I just got separated a bit too early for me, anyway. But time passes by so swiftly, it really does…A thought to ponder  isn’t it? I am not planning to search madly for any more notes, those messages of love. Nope, I have a feeling they will show up just when they are supposed to. 🙂

Thoughts…I Have Many

Yes I certainly do, I will never be accused of not thinking enough that’s for sure. I know everybody has thoughts, I just seem to have an overabundance. Well, how do I know that is a true fact? There’s not some thought- a- meter that can check you out for that kind of thing. You know what I’m saying kind readers, right?

Anyway, my thoughts…One certain one stuck in my mind earlier. I was thinking of daylight savings time starting here in the United States, it’s on March 11th. I was going over all the clocks and watches I have to change so they can “Spring Ahead” an hour. Setting each and every watch and clock ahead an hour. For an ordinary person, it may just take a short while…Not for me I’m afraid.

In the fall when we did the “Fall Back” thing, setting them back an hour I wrote a post about this. Also telling of my many clocks and watches, which over the years spells out I have a lot of both. I won’t get into all that here, but I kept thinking about the chore of doing it all over again. There’s no escaping the chore, but I was thinking that maybe there was a short cut of sorts to doing this time consuming task. I pondered and I wondered about it…Notice I did not say obsessed! 😉 There is no shortcut, there just isn’t!

I was actually considering maybe giving some of the clocks away, I had to banish that thought very quickly! That’s just not going to happen…Many of the clocks have sentimental meaning. The majority of the clocks and watches, too have memories of Dave attached to them. I thought about that and took my stroll down memory lane. My husband left this earth way too soon, evil cancer and I won’t got into it all many of you kind readers already know. Giving clocks away, not an option…Banish that thought forever is right!!

I just thought about it all realisticaly, I would be cheerful and make it a fun happening, Yay! I will do just that. sometimes thinking does pay off, doesn’t it? I am thinking I may just have a small group of family and friends over to make a party out of it all, it’s a nice thought isn’t it? Well, it was until I told Autumn. That Twinnie laughed herself silly for just way too long! 😉 OK, maybe it was a wacky thought and I have a feeling she just may be right, maybe. Autumn pointed out a very kind fact…Did I really want to draw attention to all my clocks and watches to the family and friends again? Is that ever true, they all do tend to worry about the clock/watch collection. Why have them all over to my house? Each and every room looked at with all the clocks, just not the best idea. Hmm…Autumn has a good point, I think I will celebrate the clock setting ritual all by myself. It’s my final thought on the whole matter…I think.   P.S. Was anyone paying attention to each and every time I said thoughts and thinking? *Counting the last 2 and also the one in the title, it was 17…That’s a lot of thoughts and thinking I do believe! 😉 🙂

What’s on your desk? by Gabby

It was a passing thought yet again. I seem to have plenty of those thoughts, don’t I? Well, I was looking around my desk. It got me wondering if I had all kinds of interesting things, what does everyone else have on their desk? The nice thing, I have a laptop now as my primary computer. I don’t always have to sit at my desk, I can wander to any room I choose. Yet, I still find myself mostly working from my desk. I also prefer to use a wireless mouse, I know some people do quite well without them, not me my friends!

Anyway, back to my desk…It’s a secretary desk and quite nice as desks go. I love all the kind of little slots and special compartments. They help me look so more organized, my desk doesn’t look too messy. All those nooks and crannies sure do come in very handy!

So, what’s on my desk? In sharing what’s on mine, I hope all of you kind readers might do the same. We can also get the low down on what’s on Autumn’s desk perhaps. That way we all be sharing. My desk is home to a nice lamp, a clock, a couple of candles that smell heavenly and an angel statue (they are all over my home, as are the clocks)! I have a cute little pot …The home of many pens and pencils. A picture of my husband Dave, of course…I glance at it often because memories are comforting and good. I have a spot for envelopes, tablets, stamps and all kinds of those type of things pretty well hidden in all those nice slots. I’m not sure if this is boring, wonder if my desk and it’s treasures are normal?

What do your desks look like? Are you organized, messy or a combination of both? Autumn is calling hers organized chaos, by the way! Her desk is the home of much the same as mine except with a different lamp, no candles and she has a lovely little jade elephant with its trunk pointing upwards. It’s from her darling man, it was very thoughtful of him…He wanted her to have a mascot of sorts! Last but not least, a picture of her darling man because her desk wouldn’t be complete without it! That about wraps up what’s on the Twinnies desks!

Who would like to share what is on theirs? Do you have some interesting or unusual things on your desk?  Come on, you are among friends…You can tell us! Remember, sharing really is fun! Of course inquiring Twinnies as always, would love to hear. 🙂 🙂

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes… ~by Gabby

I know, it’s the song from the movie Cinderella! Why am I writing about fairy tales again? Well, I’m not really…Let me explain. 🙂 As usual, I will make complete sense…Read on and see for yourself. For whatever reason this little tune kind of got stuck in my head. You know how those things go, at least I hope you do. 😉 I get lots of other tunes stuck in my head, believe me I do.

I listen to music a lot, I love music more than I can say. My late husband Dave was a musician, not as his paying job of course. So, he and I together listened to literally millions of songs. I can almost hear him laughing about this particular song. I found the lyrics and insisted he needed to sing me this song, in a nice way of course. It was about the lyrics, Dave of course was teasing me about wanting to watch Cinderella. He even offered to read me the fairy tale, too! His sense of humor and mine was something else when put together.It’s a nice memory to me now, Dave sang me the song, strumming his guitar…Perhaps to humor me? That may have been the case! 😉 Anyway, the lyrics to this song…Well, they are kind of magical in their own way. To prove my point here are the lyrics and you will see what I am saying. At least I hope so! Just read them , please. 🙂

A  dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep

In dreams you will lose your heartaches…Whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come shining through

No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing

The dream that you wish will come true.

Isn’t that just the nicest thought? I think so, a bit childish? Nope, just can’t be! Maybe it is a whimsical thought for the young at heart? Or for those of us that think about and ponder on dreams and wishes…What do you kind readers think? I myself really do love pondering on these things…So does Autumn! How do you think that Twinnie can write all those lovely poems of  magic?

Who reading this believes a dream is a wish your heart makes? Come on you can share…You know what I always say, sharing is fun! 🙂 🙂

Time is Marching On… ~By Gabby Angel

We are so close to the New Year, time to say goodbye to 2011. A few short days and we will  be saying hello to 2012…Time really does march on. Whether we are ready for it or not, you can’t slow down, go back or change time. It has me thinking of  one thing as the New Year  is so close to being ushered on in. First, I am pondering the whole subject of  New Year’s resolutions…Why does anyone make them? Does anyone ever keep them?

Some people really do make a resolution, then get sad and discouraged when they don’t or can’t keep it. Well, you know what I am saying, right? Perhaps there really are some people who have the discipline to keep a resolution. You know the usual ones like lose weight, eat heathy, quit a bad habit, etc. Some people set goals, which is a good thing. The problem is some of these may become impossible to keep, for one reason or another.

I personally haven’t made a New Year’s resolution since 1999…What was it you ask? My husband Dave had been diagnosed with bone marrow cancer, Multiple Myeloma almost 7 months to day of January 1st. So my resolution (and his, too) was to look forward to the approaching bone marrow transplant, which would buy Dave some more time. That we would make 1999 and the years that followed really count. Dave had finished the chemotherapy, we were both very hopeful and things looked good. So we resolved to make 1999 a new start, and live each and every day the best, the happiest and to really mean something. Not take anything for granted, each other (not that we ever did) or any of our loved ones. We did silly things, fun things, things that would make good memories and I am not kidding…We lived and loved, our way through each passing day. It stayed pretty much that way, well until Dave lost the battle on May 30th of 2003. I won’t go into the details, they aren’t the issue and I don’t want to make this sad. I have written about Dave in other posts, so if you are interested you can read those.

The point that I am making, the 1999 New Year’s resolution was good and we kept rolling with that one. That was the most important  New Year’s resolution of my life and I don’t choose to make another one. Nothing else will ever be that earthshattering or life changing, at least not to me. There is nothing else in the big picture for me that is cause for a New Year’s resolution. That’s me, we all are very different. It just put things into a prospective for me personally. If you choose to make your own New’s Year’s resolution, go for it I say. These are my own thoughts only and my own personal ponderings about New Year’s resolutions.

I am curious though, who really is making a New Year’s resolution? If so, please do feel free to share. Also maybe if you would like, share your own thoughts or ponderings about the whole New Year’s resolution thing. I have asked Autumn, she isn’t making one. As we agreed, all we can say is…We will keep being the happiest and best we can be!

Christmas Stockings and Other Ponderings… ~ Gabby Angel

That’s what I do a lot, I ponder and I wonder. 🙂 Well, there could be worse things I could be doing! Anyway, I was thinking about the Christmas stockings we had as kids. We faithfully hung them out before Christmas Eve and really did love those stocking  stuffers.

That leads me to my next question…How many of you kind readers got an orange, tangerine or other fruit in their stocking? Just wondering…We always did. I know Autumn and I would have missed it if we didn’t, it was just a comforting tradition to us. Wondering if that made us rather unusual? Oh well, like that would be a first for us! 😉 Other assorted cute little things went in our Christmas stockings.  Nothing as elaborate or exciting as kids these days expect. I took a poll among the nieces and nephews… So, I know these things and don’t hesitate to share them. 😉

The other thing I was pondering…Does everyone unwrap gifts on Christmas Day or Christmas morning? As kids, we unwrapped on the traditional Christmas morning. Strangely enough,  Dave and I carried on that tradition. I know sometimes things change from when you are at home as kids with Dad, Mom and the family. Then you grow up and get married for some people things change as you make your own traditons.

Another thing I was pondering… Hope all you kind readers also have all your Christmas shopping done!  Some people I know really do shop up until Christmas Eve…Too stressful I say. My years (and the twinnie’s, too) of retail taught me that one…It really was scary, as bad as Black Friday seriously. Maybe worse, because by December 24th everyone not done shopping is pretty panicked and just a bit frantic.

The ponderings and wonderings…Time to wrap them up! 😉 That was a pun, hope you all have your gift wrapping or gift bagging done! Get busy if you don’t, mine is done and so is Autumn’s…Well, that’s what the twinnie claims anyway. 😉 🙂

Angel ornaments and Dave… ~Gabby Angel

I got out my ornaments today, in hopes of getting my Christmas tree decorated. Doing kind of OK until I opened one box. There they were, the lovely silver angel ornaments my husband Dave had gotten for me. It was in 2001, he died May 30th of 2003.

There are a half dozen beauful angels, very unusal and I loved them upon first sight. He got to enjoy them with me for two Christmases…That’s a happy memory. Big mistake on trying for the tree being decorated today, it’s exactly 8 & 1/2 years to the day I lost him to that evil beast cancer.

I try not to pay attention to the 30th of every month, but I usually fail. That may sound rather strange to some people. It’s just the way I am, I make no apologizes for my feelings about Dave to anyone. Anyway, these angel ornaments…Just looking at them reduced me to tears again. The tears dripped onto the angels making me feel even worse. Such a beautiful and loving gift, I feel guilty because Dave doesn’t want me to be sad. I miss him… he was my husband, soulmate and to be taken so young.

It is more difficult at the holidays…It always is, sadly I never quite get used to that. I ended up putting all my ornaments away, maybe tomorrow I will be able to decorate the tree. Maybe tomorrow…I will feel stronger. Maybe tomorrow I won’t cry. Maybe the angel ornaments will work their magic and I can smile. Some days are just more difficult than others. Anyone reading Autumn’s and my blog, you must realize I am an optimistic person.I strive to somehow reach for the upside, the positive. To find a degree of happiness and joy every single day I am alive.Unless you have felt my loss, which I wish on nobody…I suppose it’s hard to understand.

I will round up my twinnie to help me decorate the tree. Autumn will help me make it more joyful, perhaps we will find things to laugh about. We can hang those angel ornaments up together. She is my twin sister, I am blessed…I never take that for granted, never. She knows how I am feeling and helps me as she has been doing since Dave was diagnosed in 1998. Thank you twinnie, for always being there for me…I love you, TF <3=Twins Forever.

Don’t You Ever Just Want to Sing it Out Loud?~by Gabby Angel

I sing in the car when driving along to anywhere and everywhere. Of course I have a CD I am singing along with…The looks I get? 😉 OK, I must admit they are mixed, not that any of it matters to me. Because I really and truly aways “Have to Sing it Out Loud!” Growing up with music and having Dad always be singing is no doubt a lot of where this comes from.

Being married to a musician, perhaps strengthened it quite a bit. What brought this thought to mind…The other day when I was on my way to Autumn’s house. My car window was down,  it had turned into a warmer day than I had thought it would be. I was as usual singing along and when stopped at a red light I had some guy sitting on his porch yell question to me. It was “Are you talking to yourself or what?” It made me laugh, but he seemed concerned so I answered. “No, I was singing along to a song and don’t you ever just want to sing it out loud?” He smiled and laughed, said he was a bad singer so no.” But you carry on, you look happy.” Adding a thumbs up with his comment. The light turned to green and I drove on to Autumn’s house. I told her of this happening and we laughed, singing along to us was normal and quite second nature.

We set off to a store in town, both singing to my CD. 🙂 We were shopping around picking up the few things we each needed. When a favorite song of both of ours came on , the store had a lovely radio station tuned in. I started singing along softly without really thinking, honestly. Autumn joined in with me…The next aisle over a kind older gentleman smiled at us. Remarking “It’s nice to see you girls enjoying the music”. His wife had by this time joined him and smiled and said “You girls don’t need to stop singing on our account. You have lovely voices.” Autumn and I exchanged looks, now somewhat feeling embarrassed. We thanked the nice couple again and moved along, last aisle to go!

Another favorite tune came on and I couldn’t help it I started singing Very Softly. Autumn had joined in…It was a song Dave and Craig had sang in their band days and we both really loved it. We again got a comment from a guy who was walking toward us and shopping. “Wow, what a duo you are! Great tune isn’t it? Man, you two have got to be twins…You look familiar!”

Thankfully Autumn answered and turns out he did go to school with us, after all. We had a brief chat with him about school days and music. I had to ask him my question…”Doesn’t the music just ever make you want to sing it out loud?” I am so naive actually how I innocently ask things, but always seeming to never be able to stop myself. After all he could have replied rather unkindly or thought we twinnies really were a bit off the wall. “Yes it does make me want to sing along, but don’t quite have the nerve. My voice isn’t all that good, not like you two have anyway!”

Oh, come on I thought to myself…another person claiming to have a not so good voice? Maybe us twinnies were indeed alone in the wanting to sing it out loud after all. We do march to the beat of our own drummer and always have. We nicely thanked him and chatted a few more minutes…I nudged Autumn hurrying her along with me. Off to the check out line for us. A nice younger girl we know was there, both Autumn and I happy to see her. She was singing along to the song that was now on! A kindred soul, Jess was and we all had a nice little chat while she was ringing up our purchases. Jess is one highly amusing and just one happy 18 year old! She is just a joy to know and always in such a positive frame of mind. She waved us off as we were opening the door to leave, reminding us to “Remember to always sing it out loud!”

It’s nice to find these kindred souls, isn’t it? Autumn and I both will continuing looking for them as we travel through our days. 🙂

A Picture and the Memories… ~BY Gabby Angel

I was looking at one of my favorite pictures of my husband Dave last night. Any of you kind readers following my twin sister Autumn’s and my blog are aware, I lost Dave to cancer. He’s been gone over 8 years now, I miss him like crazy every day. About this picture, it’s of Dave smiling as he was singing and playing his acoustic guitar. He kept singing, as I snapped that particular picture.

I remember the evening he was singing this song to me so very well. I can close my eyes and conjure up the memories so easily, I feel am quite fortunate that way. The song, Joe Cocker‘s “You are So Beautiful to Me“, a beautiful song, a beautiful memory.

Dave sang so many, many times and so many, many songs to me…I miss that so very much. Recordings I have of him singing are wonderful, but not quite  the same. Looking at this picture of Dave last night just made me cry, kept  me crying for quite the spell. I finally got a grip, and finally stopped…It was because I could almost hear his voice. That’s how well connected we were, I could almost hear him saying….Please don’t cry sweetheart, I am always with you. He is of course, because he promised he would be…As often as Heaven allowed anyway.

I got to remembering so many things about Dave and me, our time together and our first meeting when we were 16 years old. He came roaring into my life in a mustang. That’s a long story that I will save for another time. I got to remembering silly and happy times throughout our years together.

One of my favorite memories was the proposal night. Others were just odds and ends of other thoughts and memories. I have to share the night he proposed. Very romantic it was, Dave really did propose to me on bended knee. After the beautiful wildflowers (they are my favorite) and the candlelight dinner, which he had made by the way. Dave had learned to cook at a pretty young age, so it really was a lovely dinner.

That man had already won my heart right from the beginning, just as he said I had won his.Dave and I were blessed in many ways, I keep trying to remember this fact. Some days or nights are just more difficult than others. Next to this picture of Dave on my wall, I have a set of his drumsticks hanging. I took them down and held them, that was comforting to me. It made me smile, he loved playing his drums and I pictured an early memory. Dave was in one of his first bands. He was rocking it out, behind those set of drums and singing his heart out. These are the times I want to remember…Dave and his music. I fell asleep listening to him singing ( a recording of course)…I had very happy dreams.